


Our Story

by snowbunny23



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Really really sorry, takes place over twenty years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5578948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowbunny23/pseuds/snowbunny23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was right next to him, but not close enough. He was never close enough for some reason. And Iwaizumi couldn’t figure out why that was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Story

**Author's Note:**

> Never thought I would write something with a sad ending. I don’t believe in sad ending. Although I would argue it’s not really a sad ending… it's just an uncertain ending. 
> 
> Big thanks to my beta-reader, [kettleowl](http://kettleowl.tumblr.com/)!!

When they first met it seemed like destiny, something that was meant to be. Iwaizumi prayed long and hard the previous night for a friend he could rely on. Someone who would see the real him and love him all the same. Someone who would stay close by his side, even through the hard stuff. And that was what he got that next day when an annoying boy came up to him shouting/ asking if he saw the UFO in the sky the pervious night. No greeting or introduction, just uncontrollable excitement that bursted color into Iwaizumi’s life like nothing before. 

At first Oikawa didn’t seem like the answer to his prayers; instead he seemed like an annoyance that was only meant to disrupt Iwaizumi’s life. But still he was raised better than to say that to someone’s face. So he simply stated that he saw no such thing in the night sky, hoping it would cause the boy to go away. 

It didn’t. Instead Oikawa stayed and told him all about it. How huge it was and so bright! And that Iwaizumi had to be blind not to have seen it. That only added to Iwaizumi irritation. So he let his annoyance show, asking if it was so bright and obvious then how come no one else was talking about it. 

But of course Oikawa had an explanation. “Obviously the government is trying to cover it up! They don’t want us to know about aliens!” 

And that's how it started. With an annoyed little boy who didn’t realize he had gotten exactly what he asked for and another energetic little boy who didn’t realize he was making the other fall in love with him. 

 

***

 

Seven years later, when they were 13 years olds, Oikawa got his first girlfriend. At first it didn’t really bother Iwaizumi. She was nice, pretty, and funny, so it didn’t really seem like a big deal when she started hanging around them a lot. That was until she started to move closer to Oikawa than Iwaizumi was. 

Iwaizumi tried to hide his irritation with her, but sometime it became too much. Why was she suddenly the person Oikawa spent most of his time with? Why was she the only person who got to hug Oikawa anytime she wanted? It didn’t seem right. Oikawa was his best friend, the person he was the closest to, so why did she get to take over his spot in Oikawa’s life?

Oikawa caught on to Iwaizumi’s behavior in a matter of days. “Iwa-chan, why are you acting so jealous? You know you’ll always my best friend! The most important person in my life!” 

Those words helped Iwaizumi, even if he knew one day that wouldn’t be true. One day he wouldn’t be the most important person in Oikawa’s life, there would be someone closer to Oikawa. But at least he knew for now he was that important to Oikawa. 

 

***

 

Five years later they started college together. They didn’t get to be roommates. Oikawa signed up too late for that. But they were neighbors in the dorms they lived in. In retrospect that was probably a good thing. Iwaizumi wasn’t sure he could live with seeing Oikawa bring home a girl every weekend to spend the night. But then again maybe he would have realized why he didn't like that sooner. 

Still he got the perk of living close to Oikawa without actually living with him. After all the five feet distance from Oikawa’s dorm room to Iwaizumi’s never stopped Oikawa from bursting through his front door to steal snacks every day of the week. 

“I want to live next to you forever,” Oikawa said one night while they were lounging around watching an UFO documentary, Oikawa’s back resting on Iwaizumi’s side as he munched on Iwaizumi’s chips. 

“Shut up. We’ll be lucky if I live through this year living next to you.” 

“Mean Iwa-chan!” Iwaizumi just laughed. “I’m serious! When we grow up we can buy houses across the street from each other and live next to each other forever! I can go over to your house every morning for coffee, our children can be best friends, just like us! And we’ll always be close! Doesn’t that sound perfect Iwa-chan!” 

Iwaizumi studied Oikawa as he shouted with excitement. He really wanted that, to spend forever next to him. It did sound nice. “Sure, we can live next to each other,” Iwaizumi said hoping one day it would actually come true, even though it still didn't feel like enough. 

Later that week there was a huge party in their dorms, the first big one of their second semester. By some miracle Oikawa actually talked Iwaizumi into going. ( _ ‘It just one floor above us! You have to go!’) _

It’s not that Iwaizumi was against going, he just wasn’t really that interested in getting drunk off his ass around people he didn’t know. But Oikawa said he would stick next to him the whole night. So he went and got drunk off his ass with Oikawa right next to him. 

Maybe he should have noticed how the alcohol seemed to changed something with both of them. Standing so close to each other didn’t seem odd anymore, it seemed comfortable. Oikawa holding on to his hand didn’t make him self-conscious or worried that others would see them, it felt normal. Oikawa’s laugh made the air around them so pleasant. He should have noticed how different this all was and made an attempt to stop it, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to. He finally didn’t care if it wasn’t normal or if anyone saw them. He just wanted to stay that close to Oikawa. 

As the night went on Oikawa got more touchy, wrapping an arm around Iwaizumi’s neck, and Iwaizumi didn’t mind at all. The music was loud, the room more crowded, and Iwaizumi had just chugged yet another beer, so it took him a few moment before he caught on to the fact that Oikawa was staring straight into his eyes with the most loving look. Iwaizumi gave him a questioning look, as if to ask what he was thinking, but Oikawa didn’t answer him. He just smiled gently before leaning down to lightly press his lips against Iwaizumi’s. 

At first Iwaizumi didn’t move at all. It felt too good to be real, that Oikawa would really kiss him out of nowhere like that. After a few seconds he was kissing Oikawa back, and then the kiss wasn’t so light anymore. He didn’t care they were in a room surrounded by dozens of people. To Iwaizumi they were the only two people there. They were the only ones that mattered in that moment. 

The next morning Iwaizumi woke up in Oikawa’s bed with all of his clothes on. He remembered kissing Oikawa, how could he ever forget, but when Oikawa asked if he recalled anything weird about last night Iwaizumi simply said no and that he was going to go to his dorm room to sleep off his hangover. 

They never talked about the kiss again.  

 

*** 

 

Six years later Oikawa got engaged and asked Iwaizumi to be his best man. Of course Iwaizumi said yes. That’s how it was always supposed to be. He was supposed to stand next to him on the most important day of his life and watch him say his vows to a beautiful woman who would give him everything he has always wanted. A family. Children. A real life. Everything Iwaizumi couldn’t give him, not that he even wanted to. 

So a few months later, on a warm August day, Iwaizumi stood right next to Oikawa and stared at his face as he watched his bride walk down the aisle. He looked in love, happy, but somehow Iwaizumi thought he didn’t look happy enough.There was no doubt that Oikawa was delighted to be getting married, but Iwaizumi still had a sinking feeling that somehow all of this wasn’t right, like he had seen Oikawa happier before. And if this was his wedding day then he should have looked the happiest Iwaizumi had ever seen him. 

But still Iwaizumi did what a best friend was supposed to do, stood by him and supported him on the most important day of his life. He wanted it to be a happy day for him, even if Iwaizumi had seen him happier before. So he watched Oikawa as he vowed his life to the woman next to him, the woman who was standing closer to Oikawa than he was. 

He was right next to him, but not close enough. He was never close enough for some reason. And Iwaizumi couldn’t figure out why that was. 

 

***

 

One year later Oikawa finally had the daughter he always wanted. And Iwaizumi was happy for him, he truly was. He knew Oikawa always wanted a child and a family, so of course Iwaizumi was happy for his best friend. 

When he got the text message ( _ ‘Look how cute my adorable Yuki-chan is, Iwa-chan!!!”)  _ with the attached picture of Oikawa’s daughter he didn’t just feel like a proud best friend or even uncle. He looked at the picture of one-day-old Yuki and saw the newest member of  _ his _ family. He saw  _ his _ daughter, a little girl he wanted to help raise. A little girl he wanted to read stories to right before bed (probably about aliens), and protect against the world. A little girl he would not let date until she was at least 20. A little girl he wanted to one day walked down the aisle alongside Oikawa. 

But he wasn’t her father. He wasn’t even a real relative. He was just her dad’s best friend. Once again he was close, but not close enough. He was close to him… to them, but not really  _ with _ them. 

 

***

 

Twenty three days later Iwaizumi finally realized the truth and he didn’t know how to deal with it. It was too late. Oikawa was married and happy.

How could he had been so stupid not to see it before? Maybe he did see it but didn't let himself believe it. Either way he had let it all pass him up. But he couldn’t let it go. He still wanted Oikawa, but that didn’t change the fact that Oikawa was happy with a family that didn’t include him. 

He wrote it all down, everything he wanted to tell Oikawa. He wrote it down like he was really going to send him the letter. But when the time came to put it in the envelope Iwaizumi just stared at the letter, unknowing in what action he should take. 

_ Dear Tooru,  _

_ For years I thought I was incapable for falling in love, that it would never happen to me. For years I let myself believe that the love I felt for you was solely strong friendship. You wouldn’t think those two thoughts are connected, but they are.  _

_ I love you, not just as a friend. I want to be with you, the way you are with your wife. I want that with you. Not just to live next to you, but to live with you. I want to wake up every morning and see your face. I want to raise your adorable daughter with you and tuck her into bed every night. I want everyday with you forever. I don’t just want to be a side story in your life. I want to be a main character,  _ the _ main character, in your life.  _

_ But then I see your family, your beautiful wife and new daughter, how happy you are, and I don’t want to ruin that. I’ve finally realized it, how I love you in a different way other than a friend, how we had the chance, but I never took it, how the drunken kiss was so much more than a drunken kiss, why it hurt to watch you get married. All of this, I’ve finally realized the truth, but I realized it too late.  _

_ I love you so I want you to be happy, but I also want you to know how I feel about you. This is probably unfair of me to tell you like this, right after you’ve just became a father, but I needed you to know that I know. We don’t keep secrets; we’re best friends, right? So I wanted to tell you the truth. I love you. I always have and I always will. Even now that you’re happily married to a beautiful women. I love you. _

_ Forgive me for figuring this out when it was too late. And forgive me for telling you.  _

_ Love always,  _

_ Hajime  _

The envelope was right next to him, ready with a stamp and addressed to Oikawa, but Iwaizumi couldn’t do it. He folded up the letter and hide it away in his desk. He couldn't send it now, not when Oikawa was married and happy with a new baby. He finally had everything he wanted, so Iwaizumi couldn’t disrupt that with his feelings now that he finally realized what they were. 

Maybe one day he would send the letter. Maybe one day he would get his second, third, sixth chance, but for now Iwaizumi would just remain Oikawa’s best friend. Someone he was close to, but not close enough. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As I said the ending is uncertain. Like the ending isn’t really the end. And I guess you could say it's like that for a reason. 
> 
> Feel free to come yell at me. [Snowbunny-yukito](http://snowbunny-yukito.tumblr.com/)


End file.
